Nostalgia Memories

New Stage

2010-08-13T16:03:00.002+08:00

Well, people always say "you wont be understood, unless you have become at once.." For me, this statement is true enough to be understood now. When you are young, mentality tend to be you and yourself. But when you have "upgraded" yourself to the parents level, there is not longer you and yourself but is baby and husbands' matter.

During this period of confinement, I realize even though you have tried your best to do something , in the end of the day everything just an unknown. You cant really predict what will be the outcome. Sometimes it really made me upset and demotivated. But once I look back, I saw my husband and mother-in-law. They are the one who are most struggle for me and the baby day and night. All the sudden, I feel so guilty and so stupid of thinking that I am the pithiest and never think about how lucky I am to have such family.

I really thankful for having you be by my side. To my dearest husband, Happy Birthday and I will love you as always!

等待 vs 期待

2010-06-10T15:33:00.003+08:00

Being a mother-to be, both the feeling have not much different. What make the different is, when will be the due date. Counting date after date, week ofter week... Here is it, 8 more weeks, all my long awaiting moment soon will come.

Recalled back 8 months ago when I have discover that I was pregnant, none of us was aware what to do next, but faith brought us together and things change as we work closely side by side. Initially, thinking of having a baby will be an easy task, but it is not. Having serious backache, UTI, bleeding, sleepless nights, emotional (hormone) imbalance , fever & endless medicine supplement from the hospital, it make me really "sick" of it.

As time goes by, when you started able to sense the "movements", everything change. Especially when it come to face the "real" world. It make the different! It seems that, she know what you are talking or doing. When you were sad, it make her sad as well. If you "touch" her gently, she will "note" that by "swimming" around. It was amazing!

Having to carry you for 10 months is difficult, but having you in my life is my greatest achievement ever in my life! You mean everything to us. You completed my dream of having a family, I love you as much as your dad love you! For whatsoever reason is it, you are our precious!

We are waiting & looking forward for your arrival!
~My Baby~

鱼 & 水

2010-03-26T09:38:00.000+08:00

鱼对水说：你看不见我的眼泪，因为我在水中。
水对鱼说；我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心中。
我不是鱼，你也不是水。你能看见我寂寞的眼泪吗？

鱼对水说：我永远不会离开你，因为离开你，我无法生存。
水对鱼说：我知道，可是如果你的心不在呢？
我不是鱼，你也不是水。我离开你是因为我爱你，可是，你的心里有我吗？

鱼对水说：我很寂寞，因为我只能待在水中。
水对鱼说：我知道，因为我的心里装着你的寂寞。
我不是鱼，你也不是水。我寂寞是因为我思念你，可是，远方的你能感受到吗？

鱼对水说：如果没有鱼，那水里还会剩下什么？
水对鱼说：如果没有你，那又怎么会有我？
我不是鱼，你也不是水。没有你的爱，我依然会好好的活，可是，好好的活并不代表我可以把你忘记。

鱼对水说：一辈子不能出去看看外面的世界，是我最大的遗憾。
水对鱼说：一辈子不能打消你的这个念头，是我最大的失败。
我不是鱼，你也不是水。现在的我只想要一个承诺。可是，你负担得起吗？

鱼对水说：在你的一生中，我是第几条鱼？
水对鱼说：你不是在水中的第一条鱼，但却是在我心中的第一条鱼。
我不是鱼，你也不是水。我们都不是彼此生命中的第一个，可是，你知道吗？你却是我第一个想娶的人。

鱼对水说：你相信一见钟情吗？
水对鱼说：当我意识到你是鱼的那一刻，就知道你会游到我的心里。
我不是鱼，你也不是水。我以为我对你的爱不会长久，因为那是一见钟情，可是，我错了，对你的感情越来越深刻了。

鱼对水说：为什么每次都是我问你答？
水对鱼说：因为我喜欢在问答中让你了解我的心。
我不是鱼，你也不是水。为什么你总是让我等待？难道你不知道，等待=失去信心==失望=放弃。

如果我是水，而你是鱼，那该多好！水永远都知道你的想法，因为你在我心里。
但是我不是水，你也不是鱼。你永远都不知道我对你的爱，到底有多认真，多深刻。
因为也许已开始到现在，我根本就不在你的心里。。。

Home

2010-03-25T14:03:00.001+08:00

"Home"
DAUGHTRY

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

changes

2009-12-09T21:06:00.002+08:00

Life always about changes. How many of us able to cope with the changes that happened around us? It sound hilarious to me when someone told me that "i'm ready to change" when they themselves do not even know what the change was about.

There was once someone told me that, "change" itself can only occurred when there is a choice there, but seldom people were giving themselves the choice. Who restrict the choice? You? They? Or them? I believe everything that happened always have a cause behind. As long as we, ourselves are not restricted to ourselves, choices will always be there, and changes is just about the time factor.

Change, always the word that make people think. People love and hate him. It make people think in such a way is because it required courage and wisdom to perform the change! Nothing sound as simple as it look. Perhaps somehow, somewhere, someone will tell you that "i'm your change", then you have to consider whether you deserved the change or not!

"Always be prepared, only those who are well prepared will be the winner!"

End of story??Beginning of the fairy tales??

2009-05-02T06:56:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wonder, what will be your life if you were unable to make it into the university? I guess, i will be totally bore and having trouble to overcome those obstacles. Peoples always say, if you are able to make some friends during your university's life, they will be your precious and lifetime's friends. I do not know how far this statement is true, but i really believe that, they really are the best thing ever happened to me. We are just like the modern version of "Snow white and the 7 dwarfs". But this time, the snow white will be the prince and the dwarfs will be the 6 princess. hahah...weird!

Is kind a funny when you think about things that happened around us especially in university's life. Those silly things that you only will do in front of your friends. Burning midnight oil together just want to develop the system and programmes. But soon we will be graduated and heading to our future. The only things left will be the memory. Which is the most meaningful part to me. Feel a bit depressed but i think i will soon overcome it. Just do not know whether this is the end of the fairy tales or just the beginning of it!:)

Happiness vs Sadness

2009-03-24T09:05:00.003+08:00

All this while I am a day dreamer, I like to dream and dream big! For me, my dream always is my priority, countless of when, where or how. But when the dream comes true, I hesitated. I do not mean to hurt anyone especially you, for me you are a tremendous good friends of mine. Maybe sometimes you did behave in a very sarcastic ways, but I know you did not have the intention of saying that, you were always there being so supportive and kind to everyone.

If the meaning of dream comes true has to exchange with you sadness, I really need to apologize to you. I really have no idea how can it happened. I do not have that intention to hurt you. It is all beyond my control. I really hope for your forgiven.

The Warmest Present Ever For Valentine

2009-02-06T11:52:00.003+08:00

Cough? Flu? Not feeling well? Dont worried, i have just the right medicine for you! No matter what happened i will always be by your side! Just like the "First Aid Kit"

Romance vs Heart Broken-part II

2009-02-06T06:24:00.002+08:00

Due to the "differences", we apart!

Romance vs Heart Broken

2009-02-06T06:14:00.002+08:00

Faith let me meet you, know you and be you! Although the time we spend together are short, but we have precious every single moment that we have.

~Sorry For Loving You~S.C

2009-01-03T20:38:00.000+08:00

I'm so sorry for knowing you
I'm so sorry for getting into your world
I'm so sorry for disturbing you

I'm so sorry for can't forgetting you
I'm so sorry for can't helping you when you are sad
I'm so sorry for can't cheer you up when you are down

I'm really so sorry for having a feeling on you
I'm really so sorry for the thing that I did
I'm really so sorry for always thinking of you

I'm getting upset, sorry for crying
I'm sorry for crying myself to sleep and
I really sorry for being so weak and
sorry for always see you in the dream of mine in the night

I'm so sorry for you and me
I'm so sorry that I have a strong feeling on you
I'm so sorry that I have started to fall in love

I'm so sorry to myself again
I must must must let go

faith that gone.....

2009-01-02T05:46:00.003+08:00

I used to think faith is something i can control over it and i really believe i have the power to do so. Not until yesterday night, someone really give me a knock and really wake me up.

Sound hilarious, but i never felt that insulted and ashamed of myself before. Somehow it does and i would like to share this inside thinking with all of you that i think it will benefit for all of us. For everything there is a season,and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Selayang Myanmar Refugees (6/12/2008)

2008-12-15T10:46:00.004+08:00

難民營﹗聽起來有一點點的可怕﹗那會是一個怎麼樣的地方呢?會是髒髒得﹐暗暗的嗎?有點可怕﹗怕歸怕﹐上人說的”慈濟人是走到最前﹐做到最後“況且”行善“一定不能等﹐還是去吧﹗

就在來臨的這一天﹐我還是有一點點擔心﹐不過﹐我將就還是來了﹗(TOT) 這個難民營就在店屋得二樓&三楼﹐它是一個與世隔絕得難民營﹗如果沒有真真的看清楚﹐你還會迷路呢﹗它讓我感覺到很大的不同。沒有我先前得恐懼﹐也沒有黑黑暗暗的還境﹐它的环境是以闪亮的青色为主，没有丝毫的黑暗暗的感觉。一进到了他们的 “课室”，就瞧見了一顆顆得大眼睛﹐很天真，無知的小朋友 (小菩薩) ，很活泼的盘坐在地面上。

虽然早上已经排练过很多次(一家人手语-缅甸版 & 保持环境的卫生手语-国语版)但是毕竟这还是我的第一次，紧张与兴奋的感觉还是难免的。哈哈。。。看见MMU伙伴们的用心，却让我深感到我的努力是多么的渺小啊！感恩啊~(MMU伙伴们，为你们加油喔！我会向你们看齐的喔！)在这小小的天地里我交了两位小菩萨，她们都是PRE-TADIKA的，一位是WAHEIDA，另外一位是SHANAS。虽然说，今天的我是来做她们的小老师，但是呢，实际上呢，是我要向她们学习。哈哈。。。(PAISEH。。。) 她们就像是我的翻译员，很体贴的帮我翻译国语去缅甸语。这么做就会有跟多的小菩萨学到我们的国语噢~~那时的状况真的很暴笑&可爱呢！

有时候人的想法很伟大，但是他们所谓的伟大是不是值得小孩们光荣呢?在来难民营前，我觉得难民的小孩是很苦的，但是看着一位位快乐的小菩萨的面孔，我犹豫了！是我的错觉吗?他们快乐吗?他们却实是快乐的！就因为他们有着一颗我早已遗失的心；一颗赤子之心。环境的变化让我必须把自己的心给埋起来了，做一位 ”大家“ 都认同的小孩。瞧见了他们，他们深深的让我体会到有时候人要学会放弃，不要執著着当下，要感恩，无时无刻的感谢一切缘与恶！是你们，是你们让我找回我的勇气，去面对我逃避已久的世界。感恩啊~我的小菩萨&伙伴们！

每日一句: “为持一段感情是需要两方面的配合，要以心比心，体谅心，包容心跟感恩的心。因为只要能照顾好自己的心，就能找出幸福的泉源”！阿弥陀佛~

育葶感恩合十

感恩的一天

2008-12-01T11:43:00.002+08:00

感恩啊~今天是我第一次在自己的故鄉做訪事。這次的訪事﹐真的讓我受益﹐也讓我找回遺失已久得感覺。隨然有點陌生﹔不過也有點熟悉﹗陌生是因為我在熟悉不過的夥伴們都已換了人。從“八仙女”組合換去 “MMU”組合~哈哈。。。還滿不錯得配搭﹗熟悉也當然是慈濟人的大愛精神與無私的愛﹗

這次得訪事真的讓我大開眼界﹐讓我知道什麼才是真真的無國際﹐無種族區分的關懷。語言上的差別沒讓師姑師伯們退讓﹗反之卻讓師姑師伯們跟為勇敢跟體貼的去關懷我們尊敬的感恩戶。也讓我們深表尊重與學習。一家家的探訪﹐一家家的問候﹐都成了我們今天最美麗的回憶。真的讓我感動的滿滿。感恩啊~

隨然命運約束了他們(感恩戶)得自由﹐但他們卻沒有向命運底頭認命﹗反之卻活得跟開心與充實﹗他們勇敢的面對生命﹐也讓我身身的提會到我是那麼得幸福。正所謂: “見苦知福﹔知福要造福”﹐ 人生無常﹐你永遠都不會知道 “明天先到﹐ 還是無常先到“﹐ 只要我們用感恩的心﹐活在當下﹐那我們就算是在造福了~

每日一念: “當你在逆境的時候﹐要感恩它﹐因它在幫你消災和惡業﹔當你在順境的時候﹐你跟要感恩﹐正所謂: “感恩的孩子最幸福﹗”夥伴們﹐就讓我們今天一起做個幸福的孩子吧﹗加油喔~

The Most Glamous Day~

2008-10-26T12:02:00.003+08:00

What will be the feeling of meeting up someone that is big in the country? Or even in the university? I believe, not much of among us can do that, do we? Well, i think the HR peoples are all blessed! I can tell you that, it was cool..really fantastic to meeting up them! The way they talk to you, their body language and even the way of their thinking, is all different from what we are doing right now! Yesterday was a day that i create my name in front of the IBBM (Institute of Bankers Malaysia) peoples; i have the chance to sit with their CEO, and also the Ex-VC of UiTM. Although the time was quite short, we manage to share the thought and ideas that was worth to make them remember who I am!

To become one of the best in the field, you need to create your name! It is just part of the responsibilities to become the best; no one can stop you but you-yourself! You are the one who decide who you really want to be and how will be your way of life! It is all within your power of control, but off course you must get the blessed from the mighty-God first!

~感恩~

2008-10-21T06:19:00.004+08:00

最近时常都起烦恼！是因为课业，家人，还是因为朋友呢?我不清楚，也不敢在想！可是心就是很不听话得烦了起来。不管何时何地，烦恼一直都困扰着我的思绪！一直原已为只要服出了，就一定有好的回报！那怕只是那么的一小部份,我也愿意。但是，我错了，彻彻底底的错了。。。

一个我原已为的答案已不复在。留下的确是无比的心疼与痛心！朋友时常对我说 “心中常存知足，感恩，善解，包容；知福也要惜福” 心美，看什麼都順眼。。。我自认是一位很容易妥协的人，我愿意包容一切人，事，物，但是你却让我痛失心扉，把我当成傻瓜般玩弄在手心。一次又一次得原谅了你，总觉得你是忏悔得，但你不是！你把我当了白痴，我却是相信了你。原以为的善解却变成了你玩弄的理由。。。

朋友得不领情，课业上得难题，家人的冷落，有谁会真心得对待我? 我不要求別人能給我什麼，我只想我能為別人做什麼。静思语常说 :“幫助別人，其實就是在幫助自己”。别人说我很傻得服出，为我不值，但你们可有想过如果有一天你们也变成了和他们一样，你还是会那么得想吗?或许有一天我会。。。但我不后悔我今天所做的一切，只因我还相信 “人是善良的”。只要以愛心待人；以磊落的心胸接物；則人生到處充滿了真善美。虽然，这次彻底得被你打败了，不过，总有一天，我相信我的坚持是不会白费。任何事都是從一個決心，一個種子開始！在看的你，我让你失望了，我是不会依你了，不伦结果如何，我也不会放弃你的！

Hearts | Forward this Picture

Trip to Jong Crocodile Farm & Zoo (Sarawak)

2008-10-07T06:36:00.006+08:00

Have you ever see a 15 fts Crocodile's skeleton? Have you heard before the Bujang Senang? The Great Reptilian? Well, if you are interested, here is the place for you to visit. I never thought it will be that excited but indeed it was a real experience for me!

Having to say that, have you ever see any animal like this before? What is this creature anyway? A rat? Smallest monkey? Or the squirrel? Well, the answer is squirrel. But it look really different for me.haha... It is so tiny to hold. Brown in colour with the red stripe from the head till the end of its body! Kind a cute actually! (If you know how to appreciate it)haha... Actually this little thing cost the Zoo few thousands to import it from Jakarta. Not include the maintenance fees, foods & etc...Costly didnt it?

And there is also a Sun Bear (the smallest bear in the world). Having a big compound for its own but i do not think the bear is happy with its condition. Kind a pathetic to see its condition! Due to lack of manpower to take care of it, the bear's nails have grow so long and cause some difficulties for the bear to walk properly! Sad

After a day trip in the Zoo (perhaps!), i realize that there are something we can control and beyond our control! When you have the power of control you need to use it well (control over your life), nobody will care about your life but you! John Maxwell once said "they will not care about you unless they know how you care!". Do you agree with me?:P

Tzu Chi's Camp (19th-21th Sep 2008)

2008-09-22T08:27:00.001+08:00

This year Tzu Qing’s Camp I was assigned the responsible of becoming a “small captain” or should I put in the term “7-11’s Manager”. This is because once you have become the “small captain”, you need to be ready to serve your member anytime anywhere for these 3 days, just like the 7-11 shop. Give you convenience for 24 hours!haha....

I am very grateful of being assigned to the 3^rd group, which is the “San Jie” (understanding)group. I get the chance of meeting up with “Ling Chang Feng Si Gu” as our team’s mother. She is a soft spoken, elegant and sweet lady. She often put the smile face on her face, if you ask me to put a time frame; I believe she will be smiled almost 24 hours, except when she is sleeping. When she smiled, you will also being influenced and smiled back. This is the power of “LOVE”. A mother’s love!

In my team, there were consist of 3 princes and 4 princess. But, due to some reasons, my princes have been “curse” into….. “Dong Gua (Alex), Ku Gua (Yik Jia) and Da Xi Gua (Alan)”! Alamak! And myself, I believe I am still that pretty so as the other princess…☺3 of my princess are future teacher and the other one is future corporate lady…Each of my princess they have their own uniqueness, like Princess Hui Lian, she is a very analytical lady, Princess Zhi Yin, she is a shy yet polite lady; Princess Kai Feng, she is the most courage and understanding lady; & Princess Karen is the most confident lady according to my observation.

During these 3 days, we have built up the relationship and commitment among our members. I learn a lot from my members as I am also in the process of learning. Especially from my "3 Gua"s. It is quite tiring of taking care of the 3 big babies, this is because they are really......"silly"(haha). The experience of being a “planner” and “participant” are totally different. I am really glad that i have make the decision to join. If you would like to know more about the story of my 3 "Gua"s, do wait for my next post.....see you soon...